Bitter Remembrance

It's getting close. Close to the anniversary of what that thrice damned peice of shit did to me. Maybe that's why I'm so angry. I hate the bastard. I hate him for what he did. I hate him for the fact he doesn't even remember. My life went to hell that day, but he continued on as normal.
Why? Why shouldn't he be the one who hurts? Why can't he be the one to need drugs just to be normal? Why should I be the one who has to fight back suicide thoughts? Why should my marriage suffer because of him?
WHY?!?!?!

But there's no answer. Nothing that helps. Sure it's because of sin entering hte world. I know that line. You know what? It doesn't change a damn thing! Nothing changes. Except I sink farther into feelings of inadequacy, of being forever flawed. And why? Because Brian didn't give a shit about me! All he cared about was getting his dick wet.
I hate him so much. I hate him I hate him I hate him.
I hate him.